• It's frustrating.

    Eyeing on the text displayed on her phone screen, her fingers hesitated to type in the words that are clashing inside her, wanting release through her fingertips.

    It's frustrating.

    Biting her bottom lip, she reread the text for the umpteenth time for the last few minutes. Her mind a whirling storm of sentences- Jokes, Apologies, Love. Her fingers twitching, itching to send a reply before it's too late.

    It's frustrating.

    She must take all things into account. She must tread carefully. Carefully, as if she was on thin ice. Her next words mustn't destroy them. Mustn't ruin what they had. She must take all things into account.

    It's all I've ever felt.

    Her hands suddenly dropped the phone, her body scooting away as if it would spread it's heat and burn her with all the turmoil inside her. Something was nearby. She grabbed it, hugged it tightly without realizing it was a gift from the exact person that was on the other side of the phone. It smelled of strawberries.

    It's always like this.

    She tried to clear her mind. Tried to calm herself. There was nothing to lose. Not from them. Never from them. They told you so, hadn't they?

    It's frustrating.

    Everything would be fine. Just type it and tap send. That's all there is to it. Everything after would be fine. She has nothing to lose. Nothing from them. Never from them.

    The screen grew dark.

    In that split second, her eyes widened. Her hands shot out to reach the phone before the screen goes entirely black. She tapped the screen once. The text was still there. They were still waiting based on the words 'Online'. Her eyes nervously roamed the screen, noting that it had been ten minutes since the last text they sent.

    They're annoyed.

    Her lips felt dry. Sweat suddenly forming. She tried to build her sentence in her head first. It failed. The storm inside her was still brewing.

    They must be.

    Ten turned to eleven as she finally typed in the first few words that finally escaped from her. No looking back now. The sound of tapping surrounds her. It was all she could hear. Words formed into a sentence. One sentence turned to two. She hesitates again.

    Is it too long?

    Have I explained it enough?

    It's frustrating. These text messages frustrate her so much. She doesn't know how they would react. If they would reply back to her. If they would even still talk to her. It's frustrating. She must take all things into account.

    Eyeing her message, eyeing her sentences, her words, she made sure it was perfect. Made sure it would not affect what they had. Made sure that if anything, they would at least still talk. Avoid the topic if possible. Hoping that would be the worst case scenario.

    It's oh so frustrating.

    But if I don't do it now, I won't have another chance.

    If she doesn't do it now, what they had would still be affected. They now know she hid something. She still is if she doesn't send her message. Taking a deep breath and slowly breathing out calmed her nerves, if only a little. Whatever the outcome, it would still be affected.

    My eyes closed.

    Her finger hovered over the send button. Taking one last peak at her message, still doubting if what she was about to send would not ruin what they had with this person. Her eyes snapped shut.

    I hit send.