• I had to use the toilet,
    To do what I must do,
    But when I'd finished
    There was no paper by the loo.

    I was home alone,
    Needed toilet roll fetching,
    But we kept it downstairs
    In a cupboard in the kitchen.

    I know, stripe the centre roll,
    This idea was fantastic.
    It was then I noticed
    That the roll was made of plastic.

    I would have to go downstirs so,
    Pulling my pants to my kneews,
    I waddled like a penguin
    And could feel a nasty breeze.

    When I reached the kitchen
    I heard a knock at the door.
    A woman was staring at me,
    She couldnt believe what she saw.

    I just stood there smiling,
    With my pants around my kneews.
    She could see my privates
    Swinging slightly in the breeze.

    I had never been so embarrassed,
    I didnt know what to do
    So I just put my legs together
    Then bounced off like a kangaroo.

    I never found out who she was,
    She never came back, you see,
    But now when i go to the toilet
    I always take paper with me.