• If You Loved Me

    I've long reconciled my station in life.
    Palace groundskeeper in Kyoto,
    tending the emperor's flowers and trees
    cultivating a study of Zen in the serene gardens.
    Unable to provide for me, my parents
    blessed Buddha with water lilies and rice,
    and gave their boy to a nobleman.
    Years later, I have found a niche
    but there is a secret place where I also belong.

    You are a daughter of the imperial court,
    the bustle of colorful fowl who spill haiku ink
    and have gaping mouths like the koi that swim
    in the ornamental ponds. You are a rare chrysanthemum,
    the prime of autumn's first bloom
    a richer garnet than any heavenly gem.
    Sometimes your face is turned towards me a moment too
    long. Your eyes are impassive, yet I shiver
    when I think they are deliberately so.

    When the weeping nightingale ushers in the night,
    my duties done, I hold my teacup.
    It is your face I cradle,
    the rising steam your breath.
    My bathwater is your warm embrace.
    The plum I taste is your kiss.
    Because I love you, I have strength to thrive
    in what some would only endure.
    But if you loved me
    the strength would become courage.
    I would break my bonds.
    like a raging dragon,
    roaring like a waterfall,
    clutching the full moon
    like a pearl in my claw.
    I would don red samurai armor
    and bestow the blessings of destiny
    upon Japan.
    I would become master of the empire,
    and rule with wisdom.