The Dream

• Artist: XxX-SpAzMaTrOn-XxX
• Description: This a poem that i wrote when i could sleep one night. Hope you like it!
• Date: 09/17/2008
• Tags: poem massicure dream

Thump-thump, thump-thump.
The sound my feet make as the hit the ally's pavement
Thump-thump, thump-thump.
The sound my heart makes as its beating faster and faster.
He's gaining speed.
He reaches into his pocket
He pulls out a gun.
Bang!
I awake in a cold sweat.
Thump-thump, thump-thump
My hearts racing
I try to calm down,
I try to think about something else,
But I cant.

Comments

[ZachClark]

Hmmm this is quite fairly insteresting. The ending is a bit jagged but the start is really cool. I really would have hoped though that this poem would have been longer. Maqybe you could change it in a way to so the thump, thump gains more power. You could even have it end in thump, thump, as well a fiddle with capitalization. The heart of this poem would be the heart beat but it needs to be longer to really set inside of the reader for a spectacular finish.