Broken Melody

• Artist: iBrightScales
• Description: I was in a sucky mood, and I threw this together.
  I hope you like it.
  Please comment, and be brutally honest <3
• Date: 09/27/2008
• Tags: broken melody

Into the moonlight, you maliciously scream,
Looking for what was lost in a dream.
And you bet your life upon this requiem,
That I made for you long ago.

In this dream, you gave your last life.
You set it free upon the night.
And in your undying fright,
You left it along the way.

You call to me, in hopes I’ll hear
The voice that you now hold so dear
But when I don’t come running near
You turn and walk away.

Your footsteps have a rhythmic sound
As they touch the cracking ground
And now the life you lost is found
In a broken melody.

Comments

[inking the world]

My mouth dropped open when I finished. Astounding. 5/5

[Sparkly Tits]

awww :O
idk if its suppose to be happy that he found his life or sad that he lost it in the first place :3
5/5! read mine?

[SilvertongueSagittarius]

hmm... that's odd...it didnt show my comment...oh well... anyway, i really like this one. great job

[Lemon Flavored Giggles x3]

You commented my Poem and gave it a 5 ..so I thought I would check yours out. and WOW you have such a talent and i am very honored to have been complimented by you ^.^

[Pure_Dove]

I just love your writings ^^

[Caleco]

again, something about it truly captured me. i dont know what you're doing, but keep it up.

[Mecca Against Reality]

Honestly, I liked this poem enough to give it a 5, but I think it could have flowed a bit better. Other than that it was great, so 4/5!