Eyes as blue as the sea; tall, lean and fit. His face had an ethereal beauty - not of this world. His voice - hypnotic, calming and pure. Reverent and humble - knelt before his God; seeking his face.
Captivating me from afar - a heart felt longing I did not understand. I knew who he was - but had never met him before. I was scared to feel this way - the vulnerability - my walls crashing down. How can this be? - he would never want me - I was fine on my own. The ache in my heart spoke the truth - what lay deep within my soul.
As we grew closer - I could deny no longer; I fell for a cowboy - strong and wise. He protected me from evil forces unseen. Treated me as a rare treasure - beautiful and strong said he. But how could I be as beautiful as he claimed? Couldn't he see? The scars and the pain?
No matter how much I said I was not; he'd just shake his head and agreed with me not. I was beautiful he said - clean and pure. Untouched by the scars - not held captive from the pain. After a while I started to believe, all the wonderful words he spoke. Finally - I gave him my all; my heart, my soul - my body in whole. I vowed to stand beside him - to love him forever. Until the end of time - all through eternity.
Pain so deep - so undoubtingly cruel. Betrayal of the heart - of my very soul. What went wrong? I cried; Did he finally see the ugliness in me? The weakness - the horrible scars, innocence long lost. As I sit and wonder - many things come to mind.
Quick to anger, slow to forgive. What happened to the heart that lived? You killed who you were, the cowboy from the west. A heart so tender and meek, kind all the way through. But now look what stands in it's place. Pride, arrogance - anger through and through.
So afraid to be the real you - afraid to be weak, meek and kind. Where trust once thrived - now only suspicion survives. Pain so long ago - scars that ran deeper than mine. When you shed tears - you were never unworthy! You always said - don't be afraid to be me. Yet why was it so hard to do the same?
Every time your accent showed, you seemed to hate it so. What you never knew, was that I loved to hear you speak; in that accent so unique. Your shakespearean tongue could melt the hardest of hearts. How I loved to hear you speak - I would ask questions - yearning to learn.
An Angelic Prince you turned out to be; strong, powerful and very wise. Such knowledge you held - though quiet you were. Secrets held deep within - your heart, your soul. To be held in your arms - I felt safe and sound. I felt honoured to even stand beside you.
Stories of the lake in your home state, mountains that climbed high into the sky. How you loved to be the wilderness geek; enjoying and exploring everything you seek. Everytime you told your stories - I could envision the place as if I were there. I dreamed and hoped that one day I'd see; this beautiful place where you came to be.
Lucky I was when I started to see; as I looked in your eyes - so deep and serene. All the things you spoke unto me; I could see as clear as day. The snow covered hills afar; the wonderful lake - I stood in awe. How could it be that through your eyes I could see? This wonderful place - so peaceful and unique. Beautiful all in all; a land so young and meek.
But you are no longer here; you've turned away and fled. To that of another - whom you just met. You've seemed to change - drastically so. No longer the cowboy; changing to please - to be someone else. No more boots, no more hats of numerous types. No accent or kindness seeps from you now.
Following orders - doing what you're told. No longer different - just one of the crowd. Awards and decorations are always in your sights now. No longer attracted to the simplicity of life. Computer components and flat screen T.Vs, all expensive things. Instead of kindness and honour, you seek more power. Everything has to be the way you planned or your anger shows first hand.
Why was it so hard for you to see? None of these things really mattered to me. As the falling rain - my tears constantly flow. Hoping once again, that I may feel your love. I value no money - material things and awards matter not. Just looking in your eyes - loving you was enough. Holding you through the night - I felt safe and warm. Nothing would harm me - nothing at all. I valued your love, your heart and your soul.
My God, my Savior - comforts me now. For I no longer feel happy inside; crying and pleading all throught the night. Now a days - people seem to ignore me - for I speak the truth. I meant no harm - I wanted to do what was right. People trying so hard to get me to be like them. Run from my problems - keep things to myself. But I say to you - I will not conform to this world. I'd rather stand out - than be one of the crowd.
So go on - and have your life full of awards. Seeking acceptance from others - full of empty words. All I ever wanted was for you to be you. You didn't have to be perfect, nobody is. The flaws made you attractive, as well as your gifts. I didn't want everything - all I wanted was you!
From now on I'm going to be- the person that God made me to be. No longer am I going to listen to others - following my heart is what matters! I don't need any money, knowledge or power. They are just things that will eventually cease to be. I will wait for you the rest of my life. Whether or not you come back to stay; I will live the rest of my days. Hoping that one day you'll see - the man that I always knew you could be.
A man full of love, honour and kindness. No longer in need to wear many masks. Your true self will shine, brighter than all the rest! Until that day - I will never cease to pray. For God to show you all that you can be. Not needing any awards, money, or power. Just being yourself - cocky and funny.
A picture of you is all I have left. Standing tall and proud - America's Best! Luckily through those eyes , I can still see; Those Montana Skies - beautiful and free. For one Black Rose holds my heart. So tender and kind - without any thought. And someday I hope that I'll finally see - the beautiful place where you came to be. And my dear cowboy, you will always be - M.y M.iracle R.ealized - so gentle and serene.
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