Dedicated

• Artist: snow_nightmare
• Description: +`Desperate Entry. Hope you like it.
• Date: 11/03/2008
• Tags: dedicated

Dedicated

For about eighteen years
I've been making a lot of mistakes
Written a list of my regrets
And treasured a lot of moments.

For all the time that I'm alive
I've felt the hate of love
And chew the sweetness that I have
Now I act like a baby that is numb.

For him that I adore
You can't count on me anymore
I'm down into my core
Crying until my eyes sore.

For you that is reading this
I hope you feel the pain in this
If you do then vote for this
For it will make me happy at least.

Comments

[RedWhiteBlack]

You know, I thought this wasn't bad until you pulled that "vote for me" <expletive> at the end. You seem really desperate. Also, you end three of your last four lines with "this." It's not nearly specific enough, and is akin with Eminem rhyming "Sweden" with "Sweden" in "Mockingbird."

1/5

[NakedJack]

*yawns* where is the wow factor? Nice play on emotions at the end....1 star

[Onslaught993]

Very Deep, you sound like you have gone through a life of pain through love, haven't we all.
Nice to see someone who can say this in such an elegant way.
10/10, very good work

[XpressYourself]

It seems a bit cliche, and some of the lines don't really go well together, but overall its good.