• There are many things that can be reserved nowadays:
    Restaurants,
    Hotel rooms,
    Concert seats,
    And a spot in heaven.
    "Your halo for fifty dollars!
    A new-aged indulgence!"
    My mother thought that was a steal,
    Sent away her money
    And a week later a package came.
    There, small, contained in a plain box was a pill.
    At once she took it,
    And an hour later she stopped moving.
    She is still sitting in her rocking chair,
    Poised like she's ready to sprout wings at any moment.
    Too bad she didn't read the instructions:
    "Do Not Open Until The Rapture."