Poison

• Artist: SolsticeXII
• Description: I know it's short... but yeah This was actually inspired by a dream I had about someone poisoning me and then I think I comitted suicide... Or I woke up >.< Uhm yeah... I know it's not very good, but I posted it so I could get SUGGESTIONS ON IMPROVING MY WRITING SKILL (hint hint). so yeah, please comment!
• Date: 11/06/2008
• Tags: poison

It fell onto my skin
I felt it seep into my blood
Flowing through my veins
Following its path like a monster after its prey

Every inch of my body, stiff with fear
Please, please make it stop
Make it go away! Please!

I felt it go into my heart
Time stopped, the world fell silent
Just so I could hear his mocking voice

Wait one week
And maybe even another
You’ll feel no pain

But even so,
Just knowing you have only one week left
Is enough to make you go insane
Crazy with fear and rage
So crazy that you are willing
Willing to make the insanity stop

So crazy that you are wanting death
Pleading for death
Begging it to come
To come and consume your soul

Comments

[PoeticDarkAngel]

Its a good poem but it doesn't feel like you've ended it. As I think about it you can take that literally. In writing it okay to end it all. But overall I like it good job.

[tHe_HaPpY_mOo_CoW]

i like it

[TwinSister Aiko]

cool...cool

[tomsdodges]

Hi there, If you don't mind i'm just gonna through a suggestion usin one of ur versus, The trick is to try and make the words flow with ech other.


It fell onto my skin
I felt it seep into my blood
Flowing through my veins, "stringing them thin"
Following its path like "a raging flood"

Let me know what you think, i to would also like some suggestions i might post somthin later on, but i havn't been inspired yet lol

Take care and good luck