I drew you a picture...

• Artist: Okami Kiba
• Description: This was a poem i wrote for my friend (girlfriend at the time), DT... I wrote it to go along with the avi art i drew for her. Let me know what you think. And lots of love to DT!
• Date: 11/20/2008
• Tags: drew picture

I drew you a picture... it may not be too clear.
But, look. See here... does it make sense, my dear?

Do you see what it is, do you know what it means?
He gives her his heart, he calls her his "queen".

Can you tell who she is, can you make out her face?
You've seen them before. Thought I'd say, just in case...

And she's holding him close, I don't know if you knew.
And although he likes her, he's not sure what to do.

If you know what I'm saying, then please let me know.
If you don't, I can help you... just stay here, don't go.

I drew this to show you... my expression of me.
I'm hoping you like it, and I hope you can see...

Are you seeing it clearly, is the picture clear yet...?
I don't want it to be something you'll ever forget...

I showed you that picture... the one I just drew.
Could you tell? This is me... and the queen there is you.

Comments

[forgotti]

Wonderful. I wanted to write a nice comment that communicated how much I enjoyed reading this, but I am at a loss of words :<

I love ellipses...

[Ode-Melody]

What's with all of the elipses? They don't add anything to the poem at all- they're taking away from it. Also stay off of the masculine end-rhyme. (Everyone in this writing contest does it - and it's not correct for a poetic format. As for the meaning behind each line you're doing well. At least the poem is coherant. 3/5 (if there was a 2.5/5, I'd give it to you).

[Lorean Galathil]

4

[Hada del Tequila]

Lovely

[Two-bit FoxTrot]

AWW! So sweet!

[Abigail Vermillion]

This is really good makes mine look crappy read it tell me what you think http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/poetry-and-lyrics/vote/?entry_id=100617367

[PB to my J]

You are so sweet and sincere your girlfriend is really lucky to have you.