• And as my heart begins to break, I begin to wonder what it means. Will I die? CAN I die? Is a broken heart just a methaphor, of is it real? I'm not so sure. It medically says you can, somehere. "It's stress on the heart," she said, and the typed words echoed in my head. I could barely eat, I felt so sick. I basically forced myself, which made it worse. I can't sleep, because every time I try, I think of her. I can't do anything, because she always crosses my mind. Everything I do, everyhing I say, everything I see--I think of her.

    Is it sick? I think so. It's an unhealthy obsession. Like a drug I just can't quit. She is, and for ever will be, my everything. She's flattered-she told me so herself. But I'm making myself sick. Is that really something she should be flattered about? She knows I would give up everything I have just to hear her voice, smell her hair, feel her warm embrace...I need her. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but I need her.

    I can feel everything crumbling around me as my heart begins to crack some more. Crystalinne tears continue to streak my face, again and again. She's not online(she's probably busy). She said we'd talk(She does have other responsibilities). But she loves me(but she has a life too!). No, she can't! She's mine and mine alone, just as I am hers!

    ....I'm too obsessed. I'm sick. Sicker than I ever thought before. It's a sick obsession, like Beyond Birthday's sick obsession of beating L. Like my sick fascination with blood as it drips to the floor. Like a drug addict who attepmts to quit, only to find themselves relapsing on the floor. I need my fix. I need my fix of her--her words, her voice, her touch, her taste---SOMETHING! I need her! And I need her bad...

    ...I need my L...Like my L needs her B...