Unreturned Yet Still with You

• Artist: the silver belladonna
• Description: A poem about love thats not given back. I wrote it kinda weird in the way it's presented tell me what you think of the poem plz good or bad
• Date: 12/31/2008
• Tags: unreturned still with love

The pools of blood
They follow me
Invisiable to the humen eye
Is that whyyou dont see
The blood drips from my heart
That you ripped apart
The dripping echoes in my ears
Can't you tell
From all my tears
Like a cave of bittersweet love
An alarm
Telling me my soul is slowing bleeding
To death
unreciprocated love can kill
Did you not know
The drip
happens after every
rip
You do it all the time
Every moment we share
Ends with another tear
I could ask you to stop
Leave me be
but then you would just be
Another one to pass by
Another slain hope
and so I let you rip
And I deal with all the drips
and I try to sew my heart together.

Comments

[justcallmejack]

I LUV IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its so sad but sappy at the sametime.
i guess u didnt mean 2 make it sappy but..
i have 2 say its really,really,REALLY good.
my bff went thruw that and just lookin at her sad face hurts. but i wish i could write like that.....

[DaveDStrider]

ah...its okay...but u need to keep it in prose paragraphs and keep reader's attention...also...don't use love pls...too many poems like this....

[Aida-la]

I like the idea behind it, and your choice of words it good. But it's sort of phrased wrong. There are some parts that just don't hold the reader's attention.