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Life with you is???
Its amazing, spectacular, out of these world
Its always fun to see your smile shining like the sun with the brightness of the stars.
It is a memory that will never leave my head.
Life with out you would be like a boring pice of life with no plot and end this.
I would not want to change it any other way.
I love my life with you in it and hope thats how it stays.
- by Larka-love |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 01/20/2009 |
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- Title: Life with you
- Artist: Larka-love
- Description:
- Date: 01/20/2009
- Tags: life with
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Comments (2 Comments)
- -x- Fridge -x- - 01/26/2009
- Thank you mDarkPoet, you just saved me from pointing out everything. :]
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- mDarkPoet - 01/20/2009
- There are definitely some revisions that could be done to this piece. Example, instead of framing the first sentence as a question perhaps you should use elipses after and turn it into "Life with you is"... then make a space between the first sentence and the second. You misspelled "this" in the second sentence. The "with out" in the 5th sentence should be "without" and you also misspelled "piece" also the ending to the 5th sentence should be revised.
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