You never do.

• Artist: Lex2442
• Description: this is a simple/short poem i wrote. This is what i want to do all my life. write songs or poetry then become famous and sing or preform! singing and poetry is my life.
• Date: 01/22/2009
• Tags: never

I was sitting on the front porch,
Waiting for you,
You never came,
You never do,
I sat for hours,
Staring at the flowers,
The day grew cold,
But i never left,
I couldn't believe it,
How long I had to sit,
I though for once,
After all of your stunts,
That you would come,
But i began to hum,
waiting for you!

Comments

[kearney11]

not good at all really.... last two line are extremely terrible! sort it out! 1/5

[Gravetye]

So Overworked overreacted, no pun intended. The poem is rather silly, but it's not worthy of a "There is something seriously wrong with you," haha. So, anyway, don't put a comma at the end of every line. Overworked does the same thing, and it drives me nuts. And again, meter and rhyme--check the former and don't force the latter. Though, actually, your meter is a little bit more regular in this than in your other works.

[Overworkedandunderpaid]

Not good. There is something seriously wrong with you. How can you ruin a peice of bad poetry like that with your last two lines! It just plummeted down past horrible into the realm of "oops-some-idiot-decided-to-attempt-speaking-english". 1/5

[x0StrawberryLemonade0x]

Cute, reminds me of the poems I write. 5/5