I Tried to lift and hold you up,
But I dropped you instead,
I was stupid and never told you how much I loved you,
Now you've passed on and my memories of you make me wish I was dead.
What could ave been and what should have been is now a distant thing,
And through I lay behind the gray-black veil of mourning,
The siren draw of the thrumming rhythm of your dead heart, now beating,
Is breaking through and killing me with every sound.
Far away in a world of our own we are together forever in the absence of time,
Where love may know no bounds, where our whispered promises rule,
But sadly you will never be mine.
Because the real world is far too cruel,
My biggest regret and last mistake:
lying to to you about how I felt,
The words "I don't love you any more, you've played with my feelings enough" ringing
freshly through your ears.
You drove to he pier, where I lied to you my last lie,
And you jumped and flew off into the sky.
Finding your body on the rocky shore three days later,
I heard people whisper around me "it was because of her."
The world slowed down and my life ran way to fast,
The five seconds of emotionless silence couldn't last,
For the world must go on and move me past my shock,
Of seeing your beautiful pale face laying against a rock.
You were cremated, some of your ashes given to me,
When i die and join you,
Our ashes will be mixed.
Then set free
I hope you're in heaven,
I hope i don't go to hell,
And god-willing we may be together,
But only time will tell.
Smiling I'm driving,
But god knows I don't know where to,
I just keep going and crying,
And thinking of you.
I get there and get out,
I vaguely know where I am,
Part of me smiles, and part of me dies.
Walking forward across the weathered wooden planks,
Wondering if I'm stepping where you steppes a little over a month ago,
I'm tired of seeing shrinks, so I'm finally letting go.
This pier will witness me fly in the spot where he sank.
Praying and laughing and crying all the same,
As I walk forward to jump,
I hear him calling my name.
Cold pulls and pushes me,
But I don't fight,
I don't regret my decision,
I just love with all my might.
Remembering the family I used to have,
Remembering the pain and loss I had suffered,
I loose consciousness and before I go I feel glad.
No more loss, No more pain,
I've nothing left to loose,
For I'll never be again.
And such was my fortune that I was not.
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