The Icy Abyss

• Artist: saritasunshine
• Description: This is a poem I made for a class. I really liked the metaphors I included and I spent a lot of work on it. Feel free to rate and comment.
• Date: 02/11/2009
• Tags: abyss

Your face
I see it when I dream
Blonde hair, pain
In your eyes I can see it
Eyes gone grey
With misery
Swirling storm clouds
Thundering with loneliness

A hurricane blasts
Through once calm waters
Tearing
Ripping
Drowning
Doves struck
Out of the air to die
In an inferno of hate

Trees rustle in high winds
Their gentle leaves
Like guns against
Glass windows
Boats sink into
Swirling depths
Suffocating abyss

You too have been lost
Slipping into its icy grip
Never to return
Grey eyes staring
Blankly back at me
No life
No soul
Only destruction

Should I reach out to you?
Into the deathly water
Let the chills reach me
Spreading darkness into my heart?
You’re gone
Waiting for me
In the blackest of nights.

Comments

[OminousCloudInDaDistance7]

Pretty good. Confusing. Just like all good poems should be.

[Gravetye]

I rather like this. Great imagery.


Oh, and I read you post in the Writing Arena Discussion forum, about the people rating your stuff as ones after you had done some critiquing? Yeah, that's annoying. I think the same thing happened to me a couple times, so I can relate. That being said, I probably would have rated your poem a 4/5, but I'm going to give you an extra star to help balance out the psychos, haha.