the rose

• Artist: insert_name_here_3
• Description: once upon my story I was lost to the wind I can't feel the same sorrow twice.
  I bloomed regraudless of endless rain.
  note:the gate is a symbol for my heart (red shattered glass)
  PLZ COMMENT
• Date: 03/15/2009
• Tags: rose highstrung heart story

once upon a time once upon a story
A lonely seed lost to the wind, unknown fate
A high-strung girl cries,blocked by her gate

loseing who they are,memories fade
two hearts the same story
ah ah unseen sorrow wilted by rain

Once upon a hear once upon a story
slowly the seed finds a home, hopeless rose bud
High-strung girl grows tired of sadness, face covered in mud

red light shines for hope
one time one story
ah ah a weaken will wilted by the rain

once upon a girl once upon a flower
wilting from the endless rain, finding a will
a rose finally bloom,proving its unstill

The high-strung girl cannot cry,finding their wrong
she shatters the red, proving she is strong

shattered red glass, left as a rose
my heart my story
ah ah a girl's story wilted by the rain

Comments

[insert_name_here_3]

1) so I felt like it 2)I really don't care 3) what? the title or once upon... eiether way I'm young I make mistakes I'm a professional but I do write alot

[Lovers Never Tell]

First off, you should never, EVER, have to explain your poem to anyone. If the reader doesn't understand it, then you didn't convey the subject matter correctly. 2) Grammar, grammar, grammar! 3) Very poor beginning and far too cliche for me to go on with the poem itself.

Check out the Stickies in the Original Poetry/Lyrics Forum for further explanation or even PM me for a crit.

Yes, I'm harsh, but you will become a very good poet when done. Check me out in the arena yourself if you want.