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War,
A simple word
For a complicated affair
Sometimes they say it's for the people
We know the real reason
War,
It's about power, dignity,
The desire to prove ones-self
It's more hurtful
War,
Bodies, blood, bombs
Widows, orphans, beggars’
Sorrow, suffering, pain...
But there is some good
War,
A new hope, a new life,
A new beginning
Another chance
Peace! Once again
War
It's over...
For now
- by Fu_ck War Smoke Weed |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 03/16/2009 |
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- Title: War
- Artist: Fu_ck War Smoke Weed
- Description: I DID THIS FOR AN ART CLASS AT SCHOOL AND MY TEACHER THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD. TELL ME IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. HONEST OPINION. PLEASE NO JOKERS Critiques. i want serious feed back
- Date: 03/16/2009
- Tags:
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Gishwaisgod - 05/27/2009
- im not ofical like the guy befor me. but it was good not great but good
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- rocko11091 - 03/20/2009
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nicely done..glad you're looking for some real feedback..well here comes some..
good imagery..could be worked on a bit..try using some vivid color words for a more powerful touch..the flow could definitly be worked on..as for the overall figurative language..again..nice imagery, include more things like metaphors, personification and the like..
the style is great..love the concept..kudos for that..any q's feel free to ask..
Concept: 5(/5)
Flow:2
Style:3
Imagery/Fig.Lang.:2
overall:3 - Report As Spam
- Lovn - 03/16/2009
- I love it, you got talent! =3
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