Wish for Want

• Artist: Fri Noggin
• Description: I wrote this for someone that I'll never get to be with. But hey, I like it.
• Date: 03/18/2009
• Tags: wish want love death memory

I think today,
I wished for thee.
But for more than a dream
And more than a memory.
I wanted more than your voice;
I wanted your arms and your heart.
To hold me, caress me
And love me, 'till death do we part.

Comments

[rocko11091]

very nice, Fri! very nice indeed...no major problems noted...rhyme scheme is great...flows very well...love the concept and imagery...I would suggest you use "us" instead of "we", but its up to you...
Concept: 5
Flow: 5
Style: 5
Fig. Lang./Imagery: 4
Overall: 4.75 (5)

[BlackRoseWriter]

wow, beautiful ^^