• Wrestling the flash of lament that’s
    Resurfacing in my cracking voice over the phone
    Still all I can see are the blue sapphire droplets
    Endless tears running down flushed cheeks
    I the blame for his current dusk
    Somehow intent in my evil soul to harm
    This vulnerable heart of his
    As I lie compulsively with no end as my picked up habit
    Persuading myself that he’s strong enough
    That his over use of three little words
    He’ll be saying to another girl
    Proved wrong by the end of a month
    This soap opera dramatic life becoming unmanageable
    It turns out I’m the weak link
    And I can try to convince those around me
    Turns out I’m no actress because I fail to tell it to me
    My head in a jumble and my heart pulsing violently
    As a vision reoccurs as this song plays
    The familiar lyrics you sang along to as I listened intently
    I listen now and ignore the rain from my gray sky eyes
    Emotions at the bursting point to where I
    Feel the explosion coming from inside the center of my chest
    Locked inside I can no longer deny
    This sense that karma is toying with me again
    Realizing with a heavy heart
    Those feelings I worked to hide and disguise
    They still breathe solemnly if disjointedly
    Misread signals of my remorse I now decipher to be
    Me missing achingly that warm husky voice
    That still somehow finds a way to treasure our memories
    Somehow can tell me genuinely that he loves me
    Sincerely that real still foreign and overwhelming
    The way three little words lead me into hysterics
    Creeping up on me that warmth I was deprived of so long
    Mixed with my own prejudice towards me
    For being so stupid beyond my own comprehension
    Because in the end I feel three words stuck in my throat
    On the tip of hesitant tongue
    Yet I restrain with difficulty
    Holding back what I know we both want to hear
    Tempting time to slow for the moment that won’t come
    Not tonight in my haze of meaningless confusion
    Unable to ignore the ringing in my ear in this dead silence
    As you wait hopeful to hear the echo of those words
    Not tonight my dear
    Cowardly, I hang up the phone in silent regret
    Maybe another night my dear