• I sat there.
    Wondering in the darkness of my small room.
    Warm salty tears pooled down the icy features of my face.
    Is this what it's like in Hell?
    No love, no life, nothing to live for?
    Pain creeps through every vein in my body like a virus.
    I'm going under.
    Plundering deeper and deeper into my own person hell.
    Waves of cruel, cold emotions crash into my back.
    I can't breathe.
    Will I ever resurface from this nightmare?
    Will I ever feel again, love again, see again?
    And there it sat on the floor next to me. Screaming at me!
    The rectangular, smooth piece of metal that I constantly tried to ignore.
    It spoke...
    DO IT! DO IT!
    I couldn't resist my addiction to physical pain that replaced the hurricane of internal emotions in which gnaw at my every nerve.
    I took the corner if the razor blade and pressed six thick lines horizontally on my forearm.
    The pain was so addicting, so wonderful.
    It felt exciting!
    Everything had booming clarity!
    The moon and stars hung firmly in the sky, bright as fireworks in the darkness.
    The raindrops spiraled down the street lights, glistening in the moonlight like spider webs, as the trees danced lightly and happily in the autumn breeze.
    What was I doing?
    What was I thinking?
    Here I am drowning mournfully in my misery,
    and there it is.. the world.
    Calling my name waiting to be admired and loved!
    I have something to live for.
    And I always will!
    Life, family, friends, laughter, fun, happiness.
    I looked down solemnly at my ruby red arms and thought about all I'v e missed.
    I washed my arms in the sink.
    I felt as if not only was the blood from my wounds being washed away, but something else.
    I picked up the razor blade and let it drop to the bottom of my trash can with a loud PLINK!
    I won't be needing that anymore...