• The animal I really dig
    Above all others is the pig.
    Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever.
    Pigs are courteous. However,
    Now and then, to break this rule,
    One pig who is a fool.
    What for example, would you say
    If strolling through the woods one day,
    Right there in front of you, you saw
    A pig who'd built his house of STRAW?
    The Wolf who saw it licked his lips,
    And said, "That pig has had his chips."
    "Little pig, little pig, let me come in!
    "No, no, by the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin!"
    "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your
    house in!"

    The little pig began to pray,
    But Wolfie blew his house away.
    He shouted "Bacon, pork and ham!
    "Oh, what a lucky Wolf I am!"
    And though he ate the pig fast,
    He carefully kept the tail till last.
    Wolf wandered on, a trifle bloated.
    Surprise, surprise, for soon he noted
    Another little house forpigs,
    And this one had been built of TWIGS!

    "Little pig, little pig, let me come in!"
    "No, no, by the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin!"
    "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and i'll blow your house in!"

    The wolf said, "Okay here we go!"
    He then began to blow and blow.
    The little pig began to squeal.
    He cried, "Oh! Eolf! You've had one meal!"
    "Why can't we talk and make a deal?"
    The wolf replied, "Not on your nelly!"
    As soon as the pig was in his belly.
    "Two juicy little pigs!" Wolf cried,
    "But still I m not satisfied!"
    "I know full well my Tummy's bulging,
    "But oh, how I adore indulgulging."
    So creeping quietly as a mouse,
    The Wolf approached another house,
    A house which also had inside
    A little piggy trying to hide.
    But this one, Piggy Number Three,
    Was bright and brainy as could be.
    No straw for him, no twigs or sticks.
    This pig had built his house of BRICKS
    "You'll not get me!" the Piggy cried.
    "I'll blow you down!" The wolf replied.
    "You'll need," Pig said, "a lot of puff,
    "And I don't think, you've got enough."
    Wolf huffed and puffed and blew and blew.
    The house stayed up as good as new.
    "I'f I can't blow it down," Wolf said,
    "I'll have to blow it up instead.
    I'll come back in the dead of night
    And blow it up with dynamite!"
    Pig cried "You brute! I might have known!
    Then picking up the telephone,
    He dialled the as quickly as he could,
    The number of Red Riding Hood.
    "Hello," she said, "Who's speaking? Who?
    "Oh hello Piggy, how d'you do?"
    Pig cried "I need your help Miss Hood!"
    "Oh, help me, please! D'you think you could?"
    I'll try, of coarse, "Miss Hood replied.
    "Whats on your mind?" . . . "A Wolf!" Pig cried.
    "I know you've dealt with wolves before,
    And now I've got one at my door!"
    "My darling Pig," She said, "my sweet,
    "That's something really up my street.
    I've just begun to wash my hair.
    "But when its dry, I'll be right there."
    A short while later through the wood,
    Came striding brave Miss Riding Hood.
    The wolf stood there, his eyes ablaze
    And yellowish like mayonnaise.
    His teeth were sharp, his gums were raw,
    And spit was dripping from his jaw.
    Once more the maiden's eyelid flickers.
    She draws a pistol from her knickers.
    Once more, she hits the vital spot,
    And kills him with a single shot.
    Pig, peeping through the window, stood
    And yelled, "Welldone, Miss Riding Hood!"

    Ah, Piglet, you must never trust
    Young ladies from the upper crust.
    For now, Miss Hood, one notes,
    Not only has two wolfskin coats,
    But when she goes from place to place,
    She has a PIG SKIN TRAVALING CASE