Tears

• Artist: ruroukenluver13
• Description: i am trying really hard to improve my poetry. CRITISCISM IS WANTED!!!
  (edited)
• Date: 04/07/2009
• Tags: tears love sadness crying

once wet were my cheeks
and once crying were my eyes
but now I can see
and I can breathe
and I now know why you left,
"left for a greater cause
for the greater good"
preaches the angels to which I pray
but as night falls tears fall too
down my yet again
tear stained cheeks

Comments

[The British Interpreter]

good poem, but personally i think the line cuts are a bit akward and short lines tend to bug me i'm not sure why. 4/5

[Sluty Black Bird]

too much white space but other then that i give you a cool low down 5/5