You Asked Me

• Artist: Meki Uchiha
• Description: i think i've made a lot of poems.. if u comment plz tell what i should pratice on in my poetry. im not a professional poet..so i would like some help.
• Date: 04/18/2009
• Tags: asked

You asked me....
What was wrong.
I smiled and said,
"Nothing really."
You walked away.
I cried and said,
"Everything.."

All these years..
Trying to grasp...
My hand..
Into the joyful..
And longful past.

Everynight..
I cry naively.
The next day..
I have to act..
As though nothing happened.

The pain of what..
He did to me...
I feel gently...
And sadly..
In my fleeing heart.

Comments

[Kaira Angel]

^^ i like it! but i agree with amagicalperson-the rythm needs a little work.

[amagicalperson]

I really like it. The only thing I would change is maybe not so much ...... so that it flows a little better. But other than that it's amazing!