At the Edge of the Water...

• Artist: Savinien
• Description: The title is the first line of the poem.
• Date: 05/12/2009
• Tags: edge water wood tide

there is a smooth, worn piece of driftwood
one end sticking out of the soft sand
half in the surf, fighting a losing battle
against wave after wave.

Tendrils of water seems to pull the tide
up as it grabs ravenously for the one
solitary piece of wood, but still it
resists the water’s unrelenting advances.

Again, and again, the tendrils reach up for it,
and the ocean itself seems to crash
against the driftwood’s defenses,
and when even that fails, the ocean
simply just envelopes the twig and pulls it out.

However, the sea can maintain
high tide for only so long,
and as the sea rushes back out,
the piece of wood sinks back down
back into its sandy crevice,
where it awaits the next time
the sea comes to fight again.

Comments

[Tagga]

I like it. Seems like symbolism for life.

[emeraldpuppy9]

great job, love the imagery, however, you should avoid using the word "there"
and i also agree that a title would be beneficial
otherwise, <3 it and 5/5 ^^

[Savinien]

That's a great suggestion. Thanks.

[METRO SKiiES]

I like this poem. It's very... well... poetic (bad word choice here, I know), and I like how you take something perfectly innocent, not good or bad, and describe it completely and thoroughly with very image-evoking words.

I think that the last three lines are unnecessary, though. I can see what you're getting at, but it feels very cliche and takes away from the innocence I mentioned before.

[Savinien]

Actually, the poem was designed to work without a title. Which basically means that the first line of the poem is also the title. And no feelings hurt smile

[heartbhe]

♥ iI feel your imagiation in that poem... but I just don't like your title... and for me a title is very important because it is the one who attracts the readers... well it's just my opinion ... no hard feelings... ü♥