• There once was an old man of Esser,
    Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
    It at last grew so small
    He knew nothing at all,
    And now he's a college professor.




    There was a young lady one fall
    Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
    The dress caught fire
    And burned her entire
    Front page, sporting section and all.




    A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
    Who was frightened and screamed very loud
    Then a happy thought hit her
    To scare off the critter
    She sat up in bed and just meowed




    There was a fat turkey named Sam,
    Who gobbled whenever he ran.
    He came out of the bush,
    Presenting his tush,
    And was shot up the arse by a man.




    There once was a girl whose name was Jen.
    Whose room was as messy as a pig pen
    It got so cluttered
    She shook and muttered
    Oh, but everything blends, AMEN.




    There was a young maid from Madras
    Who had a magnificent a**;
    Not rounded and pink,
    As you probably think---
    It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.




    A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
    His beak can hold more than his belly can.
    He can hold in his beak
    Enough food for a week!
    But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?