Poetry of 3 in the Morning

• Artist: EclipseMouse
• Description: I was up, talking to my Girlfriend at 3 AM one night, a few weeks back, and In a flash of laziness, wrote this.
• Date: 07/05/2009
• Tags: poetry morning love girlfriend time

The perfect touch, as Fine as wine.
Remind me of the best of days.
Flawless beauty, eternally so,
perfect in so many ways.

Adoring looks, an impassioned gaze,
Two eyes meet in time.
Oh how I crave, to say your name,
and make you, ever mine.

An Oath, a swear, a promise so true,
Fealty neverending.
To such a soul, 'tis not a toll,
to feel my own heart bending.

Comments

[Ketsuyin]

I would like to strongly applaud you. There are usually so many stupid poems about young love, and they're all the same. This clearly rises above the rest as being well worded with a nice rhym scheme.

[Deathcake J]

I think your cadence is interrupted by the punctuation. The meter is close but difficult to grasp on the initial read. You obviously have enough talent that this really was a lazy piece for you. wink Nice job dancing with such a cliche' and sap prone material without getting bogged down in convention though! This gets better with each read-through.

[Lilith Celestine17]

Cool. Awesome!!

[peacekitten65]

It's great! Amazing! SHe's lucky to have you smile