Sun Blind

• Artist: Zenyei
• Description: I love writting these kind of things so please enjoy ^_^
• Date: 07/13/2009
• Tags: blind

Somedays are like torture
When no-one's around
Those days that are scorchers,
That burn up the ground
Some people have fun
By the pools without care
Under the sun,
Like i wasn't there
I watched through the fences
With my dark dusty lenses
Hoping they would remember.
That girl on the block,
With the long golden locks,
The one with the birth day ( September )
They laughed on and laughed on
Unaware i was there,
Until I got stuck with my long tangly hair
I pulled it and pulled it,
The gate shook and it squeeked
I heard them get out ,
They knew I had peeked !
I tried to run,
but was frozen with fear !
Their shadows on the fence began to smear
They had gotton closer!
I was going to DIE !
But I heard a small voice.
& It said...., " Hi! "

Comments

[ElectraShocked]

Really good! As said before, te rhyming helped the poem flow very well.
I was practically hyperventilating at the end when she was going to "die"....amazing writing can do that to me at times ;D

[Zenyei]

Thanks so much !
that means alot smile

[Arkythiana]

That was so cool! I liked how I got the feeling that it was this poor, left out child. I began to feel sorry for him, and then at the end when he thinks the others are after him and mean to harm him, it seems the other children only wish to make friends. The rhyming you used also helped the poem to flow very well. Keep on writing! biggrin

[XxX-BeTtA-ShAdEz-XxX]

Wow....thats a good one...for a second i thought
she was really going to die..
i was like "ohhhh nooo"!