Every Moment Counts

• Artist: starfishreallylovesyou
• Description: i wrote this today in my geometry class lol its supposed to be based of Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allan Poe :3 enjoy! btw, 30 Seconds To Mars fans! can you find my secret messages?? :D
• Date: 10/26/2009
• Tags: every moment counts

Clocks ticking
Hearts fluttering
Beats pulsing
1-2-3
stop
start again
spinning in confusion
vision fades to red
disapearing into your own world
Boom, crash, scream!
What was that?
murmurs smear your lullaby
crashing you into oblivion
screams piercing the atmosphere
clocks ticking
hearts stopping
Scarlet dripping from the walls
salt dancing on your tounge
numb feeling overwhelming you
euphoria swallowing you
1-2-3
the fantasy starts again
escaping from the terror
clock chimes
reminding you that every moment counts
fallen from your lullaby
witnessing reality
open your eyes
the time has come
the intuder awakes you
selfishness dissolves
the uninvited guest starts the hunt
escape to your chamber
Hush! Here the pain
feel the sorrow
try to escape the chase
stolen fantasy ripped to pieces
attack the stranger
every moment counts
vision fades
blurry images form as one
the monster from your dreams
awakens you from your last fantasy
creating the nightmare
The end of the beginning
I am the hunter
Are you free?
clocks ticking
victims screaming
terror enveloping the atmosphere
feel the shame
A new day is coming
one swift movement relieves the pain
the nightmare is over...

Comments

[ZeroChanceOfSurvival]

i like it.
very....suspensful i guess. i cant really find the wirte word...
anyway usually i dont read long stuff but the wording in this really pulled me in.
nice job biggrin 5/5

[ProfessorKC]

I can see the influence and there is some nice stuff in there, but a little advice (if you'd like more pm me, up to you)

"clocks ticking" - at times I believe you want to write "clock's ticking" as in the 'clock is' or the posessive. By doing this you add to the image istead of having a bunch of clocks all the time (imagined or real to the speaker). Just the apostrophe changes and adds to the feel. Just one of a few thoughts.