I don’t know why or how this happened.
But I do know that when I try to reach into my soul…..I find that I can’t grasp a thing.
No happiness no sadness, nothing in-between.
I tear myself apart trying to find something anything.
Even if emotions are out of reach…..I wish will could be found.
Because even if I can’t feel and become a husk of my former self at least I’ll be able to keep going.
Keep going and not disappoint all that care and are rooting for success
If I can find will even if I don’t feel, though…
if I find that will and succeed what will become of me.
How long can I keep up the act?
How long will my mask last when it’s already forming cracks?
How long will I be able to stand the feeling of needing release when I can’t let it out?
“How long…?” I could go on for an eternity with that question with many variations.
…but why waste my time?
All I really need to know is that what I’m doing now is certainly not living.
It is more of a state of being.
Feeling nonexistent but at the same time I’m present in the world.
How could this be possible?
How can everything have left and been replaced by simple clicking buttons, when there used to be complex writing.
Could anyone shed any light on this fact? ...though even if someone could they wouldn’t know they are needed if I don’t put down my crumbling mask.
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