Thanks

• Artist: ConsultingHallMonitor
• Description: this is a poem i wrote a while back but kept forgetting to enter it in. hope you enjoy and plz comment! i wrote this from the heart so plz be gentle
• Date: 11/24/2009
• Tags: love poetry loss friendship heartbreak

Thanks for all that you've done now that I'm hopeless. I look at you and think your perfect and look at me,I'm so wrong about myself and how I feel but I can tell you that it's true. I know you don't care,I'm not worth it and you don't need me,it's the thought that counts. So thanks for breaking me, yeah just thx, for everything. You made me smile when I was upset,I couldn't say how I felt ,when we were seperated,and it was too much,at least I had a friend,that you didn't like. It's the thought that counts. So thanks,for breaking me. yeah just thx, for everything...............................

Comments

[ConsultingHallMonitor]

i misspelled some of the stuff to make it realistic. the point of view is supposed to show the reality of the poem. i don't know how to shape it and i have no clue what repetitive means...

[Yan Qi]

Poetry is a great way to let out your emotions. I applaud you! smile 4/5

However, a few critisism are that:

1) "Thanks" is in chat speak. Poetry in chat speak annoys me to no end. (sorry sad )

2)It has no shape. Giving it a shape would make it easier to read and flow more like a poem than a spiel. wink

3)The punctuation is incorrect.

4) "Didn't" is spelled incorrectly.

5) It's a bit repetitive. sad

Sorry if I was too harsh.