Sanctuary

• Artist: EmoKisses-x
• Description: Ok so I was inspired by this song called Sanctuary/Passion by Utada Hikaru,
  you may know her by the Kingdom Hearts video games.
  So I decided I'd write a poem.
  I suggest listening to the song,its truly beautiful.
  I also suggest picking up the Kingdom Hearts game,its awesome ^-^
• Date: 12/19/2009
• Tags: sanctuary love

You.
My love,my friend,my sanctuary.

You show me love,kindness.
You protect me from what I fear,
reassure me that everything will be okay,
even when I don't believe it will be.

I confide in you,
I trust you,
I need you,
I love you.

Don't ever leave me,
for you are
My love,my friend,my sanctuary


-12/19/09-

Comments

[EmoKisses-x]

Echo Ligeia-

Thank you(:
Normally I do put spaces between my commas...
wonder why I didn't do it here. O.o

[Echo Ligeia]

Very nice poem - the words and their flow are pleasing to the ear. This effect would be increased, in my opinion, by making a few small changes:
- changing "You show me love,kindness" to "You show me love and kindness"
- changing "reassure me that everything will be okay" to "You reassure me that everything will be okay"
- and adding spaces between a few of your commas

But these are just nitpicks. Otherwise, no suggestions, for the poem is perfect as it is. Good work.

[EmoKisses-x]

Comment/Rate please?? :]