Razorblade Kisses

• Artist: ShatterHeartedAya
• Description: Razorblade kisses against your skin, razorblade kisses, you'll never win.
• Date: 01/10/2010
• Tags: razorblade kisses

Razorblade kisses to the inside of my wrist,
Razorblade kisses scream as I make a fist,
Razorblade kisses make me feel,
Razorblade kisses make me feel real.
Razorblade kisses to my veins,
Razorblade kisses when it rains,
Razorblade kisses sting so right,
Razorblade kisses give me no fright.
Razorblade kisses in my mind,
Razorblade kisses can be so kind,
Razorblade kisses do not lie,
Razorblade kisses do not die.
Razorblade kisses are my secret lover,
Razorblade kisses stay under cover.
Razorblade kisses are so cold,
Razorblade kisses never get old,
Razorblade kisses can be so cruel,
Razorblade kisses are just my tool.
Razorblade kisses never make me cry,
Razorblade kisses let me die.

Comments

[Hekibel]

To the contrary, I don't like the repetition as much. Some of the rhymes are very good, but some are just forced. Rhyming is going out of style, really, in the professional poetic world. The repetition does serve it's purpose, but I say it could use some work. Maybe some easier rhymes? I personally like freeverse, but for this poem, you did okay with rhymes.

[Silenced Seraphim]

Luv the repetition