A Thousand Golden Rings

• Artist: PescadoNino17
• Description:
• Date: 03/21/2010
• Tags: house heart love

This is house is often empty,
devoid of any mice, or bugs, or life.
Yet dust can never settle
for it changes all the time

This house is sparsely furnished,
no couch, nor lamp, nor rug, nor chair,
no cobwebs cling to windy sills
to be blown about the air

This house has no foundation,
no attic, cellar, extra wings;
Its single room holds nothing
save a thousand golden rings

This house can not be bought,
yet it's been broken, stolen, saved and starved
Its shingles dangle loosely:
one for every single scar.

Yet a woman still dwells inside,
and swears it's the most beautiful place
she's ever stayed.

Comments

[alice421]

THIS IS VERY GOOD

[PescadoNino17]

Slayer, it has an XAYA kind of rhyme scheme where only two lines are supposed to rhyme [with the exception of the last stanza]

And if you pay attention to what words are actually _used_... well, it should be fairly obvious what the thousand golden rings are used for.

[Eretico]

im not sure whether you're trying to make this poem rhyme or not,because in some places it rhymes,but in other places it doesn't, so i'm gonna have to deduct a point for that.Also, in the poem you mention the subject of the poem, namely "A Thousand Golden Rings",but all you do is tell the reader where the rings are, and you don't explain why they are there, or why the woman likes the house they are in, so that's another point off. 3/5