Time stretches on and on...

• Artist: KingBet
• Description: When I wrote this poem I intended for the flow to be slow. So when you read it try to pause at every break. If you do that I'm sure you'll get the full effect. Also I wrote this poem to be somewhere in a grey area between happiness and sadness. I hope you enjoy the poem, and please comment ^.^
• Date: 07/02/2010
• Tags: time stretches kingbet sadness happiness

Time stretches on and on

It's been so long.
Time stretches on and on...

Where have you been?
What's taken so long?

I feel like inside I should be in pain.
Yet my heart feels like a void.
So empty and plain.

Where has the beat gone to?
Why can't I feel it anymore?
Am I dead inside?
Or is this the way I was born?

Was I never supposed to feel the emotion.
This forbidden love that causes commotion.

Have my past actions finally caught up with me?
The real reason why I should be in agony.
Or is it because no one shares their feelings?
The reason why loneliness was so appealing.

I was always so content with living by myself.
Yet when we met I couldn't think about anything else.
How could I live with myself from then on?
When my heart always seemed to be beat like a gong.

Together we made everything seem like a party.
We could talk about anything whether it was clean or naughty.
Even in darkness we could make each other laugh.
Nothing was ever going to keep us back.

Yet now your gone, but hopefully only for a while.
Every second I wait for you is worth it because I know I'll pass this trial.
I'll wait in the back lying against the wall.
Just waiting for my heart to beat like a gong.

Until then
Time stretches on and on...

Comments

[Angel_Kitten_Sweetheart]

I liked this poem a lot. I think it flows, yet is just broken enough to let us feel how broken you feel during this time. I'm sorry you felt such things. <gentle nuzzles> I have felt this Exact thing too, feeling time streatch on without end and feeling empty. Very good poem!

[pleaseendme]

Not bad, but a lot of the lines sound a bit forced. If the line is more intelligent and meaningful without rhyming, don't change meaning for rhyme

[2pound]

this is too abstract; it only confuses the people as what you're talking about. try to shift the tone towards either a happy or sad (the tone is quite boring, like a robot). get rid of the many questions. rather, give them a rhetoric flair, or make sure it is interesting enough for the person to say "well, i never thought about it that way" like "What is the shape of time?" answer the question by showing us a picture.

[Nikita Shiro]

beautiful. i totaly enjoyed reading it. i write poems myself and none are near as good as yours.

[xCORKEYDORKEYx]

Very good peom. =] I enjoyed it very much so. I like how you use a simile(beat like a gong), very well done. And you definitely succeeded in making it between happiness and sadness. BRAVO!! =]

[Azeizel]

I don't know a poop load about poetry but It's nice to me!!! biggrin

[Psycho Coffee]

Its quite snazzy~ And the flow is just right. I approve. :3