I wish

• Artist: sweetgirl101209
• Description: an edit of one of my older poems...comments would be greatly appreciated
• Date: 07/17/2010
• Tags: wish wait love

I wish that you were with me
Whispering in my ear
In that deep,enchanting voice
That I’m always glad to hear

I wish that we were standing
Together side by side
Walking on the beach
Near the rising tide

But all I can do is wait
Wait for your return
Wait for your gleaming eyes
And the gaze of which I yearn

I hope with all my heart
That you’ll return somtime soon
But until that time
I'll simply wait for you

Comments

[Xiang-jiao]

This is pretty good. All I can really say is: "Keep writing" and I'm sure you'll turn into a great writer one day.

[PenguinGirl11]

its really lovely. one suggestion though, the third stanza is kind of awkward with the "wait"s so if you could try to make it more parallel... if you know what i mean. its really good though, i like it, 5/5. ^__^

[MissSaylah]

aww that was beautiful ^_^ great job! 5 stars all the way