• I can remember how I used to feel, used to love, used to have emotion. My emotions died when we parted and are starting to come back to life. I don't like them, I don't want them, because all emotion brings with it is pain. Be it happiness, laughter, interest, all of it just brings back painful memories. I want to forget, I tried to for a reason. And with pointless emotions comes stupid mistakes. I knew she would leave before it even began. I knew I would be crushed, but couldn't control it. My love is like a wave, once it starts, the only thing that can stop it is a crash on the shore of reality. I am not meant to be happy. I will never be happy, I know this. What I don't understand is why I still try. Time and again I know for a fact that I will be content for a short time before I come tumbling down again and fall flat on my face. But perhaps I try because the good moments are worth the pain?