Fear Fought My Longing

• Artist: X-Shinu-Chan-X
• Description: This is a poem of my longing for another man, whom my friend loved but they were not together.
  This goes for two of my friends, and their loves.
  
  This is my first rough draft poem and I didn't revise over and over like I would with my other poems and such so please, be a little generous.
• Date: 10/04/2010
• Tags: fear fought longing

As I thought for hours
I thought of him
I thought of him and became afraid
Afraid and sick
I was afraid of the thought
The thought of loving someone
Someone who belonged to another
She loved him
I loved him
My heart was crushed with pain and longing
My stomach was twisted with sickening thoughts of betrayal
She loved him
I was to afraid to ask
Afraid to ask if he could be mine
If he and I could be we
I was afraid of both the answer and the reaction
I was afraid she would say no
For my heart would ache with the longing pain
I was afraid she would never be there for me again
For I would lose my most beloved friend
I was sick at the thought of asking her
I was sick at the thought of losing her
My mind reeled
What to do?
Where to start?
The weeks past as I fought my longing with fear
The chance disappeared
He was never to be mine
He couldn't see my face any longer
So with the sorrow of a broken heart
I long and I wait
I wait pointlessly and then
My end comes
Painlessly and swift
All it goes away
And I never long again