Shattered

• Artist: Cycle of Hypocrisy
• Description: A poem on the desperation to hold a relationship. I hope you all enjoy it.
• Date: 10/09/2010
• Tags: shattered

To see and sustain.
You've no suggestion.
To hold and maintain.
No hope of formation...

It's almost sad.
Maybe a little resent...
Perhaps I've been had.
To who, now, will my love
I sent...?

I have so much sorrow...
To what do I look forward?
No promise of a good 'morrow.
Perhaps I should look inward...

I care too much.
Maybe I'm selfish...
I just want your touch...
Without you, life is
Hellish...

Comments

[Cycle of Hypocrisy]

<.<
>.>
Keep in mind. I wrote this at 3:00 a.m. on Facebook, then copied and pasted it here an hour or so ago. 'course it isn't gonna be perfect. As far as imagery? Not ALL poetry has to have imagery - most of mine is philosophical. The tone and emotion... There isn't one. It's a supposed to be a neutral feeling everyone can relate to.

[NakedJack]

There is a total lack of imagery, which is the meat of a poem; This is all stock, severed in a shallow soup bowl. Ellipses are mis-used. Send, not 'Sent'. Um, as far as the tone goes, it's very weak, like you have no emotions at all. No rhythm, but it flows alright still. This drips with your egotistical self-centeredness. Of course, just my interpretation. The first stanza was pretty good though.