• My hands were all shaky
    My hands are all pale.
    A letter from Santa
    Had just arrived in the mail.

    It was hand written,
    In old fashioned ink pen
    It was handsomely written
    And dated two thousand and ten

    "Dear total100," it said
    "I'm writing because
    This year I've repealed
    My naughty/nice laws.

    So now I urge you:
    Be vulgar and crude!
    I like it when children
    Are boorish and rude.

    Burp at the table!
    Gargle your peas!
    Never say 'Thank you,'
    'Your Welcome,' Or
    'Please.'

    Talk back to your mother!
    Don't do what you're told!
    Stick your tongue out
    At your Dad if he scolds.

    Drive everyone crazy!
    I really don't care.
    Act like a jerk
    Anytime, Anywhere!

    I'm changing the rules!
    The Bad girls and boys
    Will be, from now on,
    The ones who get the toys!

    Good little kids make
    Me sick, its no joke
    Sincerely, signed Santa

    ...And Then I awoke.

    I hate being good
    (Or trying to fake it).
    Six days until Christmas
    I don't think I'll make it.