• Link! You're on the alert again
    So put on your skirt again!
    Get ready to fight till it hurts
    Have a nap, take a squirt, Begin!
    Another adventure through the countryside!
    Kicking some a**! Kicking some a**, Kicking some a**!
    The baddies are on the rise since Ganon died
    Stay off the grass! Stay on the road, get off the grass!

    The yellow road is your priority, you're sorta like Dorothy... MAN UP!
    You'll have to fight your shadow hand to hand (Again, just like Peter Pan)

    There will be rats (radical rats!) with boomerangs
    Link, is that your wang?

    Hyrule is strange, every new game it changes,
    the map rearranges and I don't know where to go
    Zelda is comatose, maybe she overdosed,
    by the way what happened to your bow?

    Here we go now
    Link you are patrolling, sidescrolling, and Ganon's trolling
    Sure, this title's clunky and funky, but look, a monkey!

    You must gain XP (In P bags) Like an RPG (Yes, P bags)
    Still though, run away (la la la) From the KKK, what the fff—

    Link! Go stab a statue so that you can heal your a** dude
    Don't whine that it's harder, you martyr, now go walk on water!

    Learn to thrust up and down, visit a tiny town,
    This lady gives you care, what does she do in there?
    You get an extra life from Zelda merchandise, now go forth,
    your adventure is nigh!
    You shall go to Death Mountain, fly fly!
    It's called Death Mountain 'cause you will DIE.
    Why is this part so hard, Jesus WHY?
    But not halfway as hard as the end
    Just expect to get buttraped my friend
    'Cause your shadow is set to attack
    He knows all of your moves, plus he's black!
    He might be Ganon's ghost but you have to persevere
    (Believe me)
    Or just use this here
    (Game Genie)
    Link you must prevail
    (For Zelda)
    Link you must not fail, now go!