With you

• Artist: Invictive
• Description: I came up with this just right now, this morning. I know it's not that great, but I personally like it someway.. please rate/criticize/comment
  Oh and the naming our kid Malachi was a joke
  and we're both still teens.. so yeah I just thought that fit =]
• Date: 04/22/2011
• Tags: with love forever

I want to fly into the sky
Way up there real high
No bears or wolves or dangers
No cares in the world we ain't rangers
You and me circling high, searching
An island with no hurting

We'll name on of our kids Malachi
Live together for eternity then die
Hand in hand. We once were strangers
Met when we were just teenagers
I'll protect you from those lurking
I want to be there for you, everlasting

Time can't separate us, with you
Forever seem like a second
Infinity like a minute
I've always known it
I must admit I love you
My inamorata
My love.

Comments

[Invictive]

thank you very much

[Night Dreamer Mystery]

I didn't realize there was a limit to how much you could type xD So I just put it in two parts. The last one being first.. of course razz

[Night Dreamer Mystery]

However, that third stanza o.o Awesome. Very.. refined/mature. So I guess once I got to the end and realized you can write like that I wanted to see a little more of that in the beginning ^^. Overall, very sweet.

[Night Dreamer Mystery]

Hmm... the first stanza made me laugh because the "we aint rangers" xD If you want some critizism, then I'd say the first stanza and leading onto the second were a little.. kiddish. It just seems like your message of, you know, loving this person and wanting to be with them wasn't really conveyed strongly enough in the phrasing.