Outside Looking In

• Artist: Purple Nstar3
• Description:
• Date: 03/13/2012
• Tags: outside looking

I hide myself from the world around, it seems like an easy thing to do, I hide from all the ones I love, I hide from even you, when you look into my eyes you think that you see me, but the truth is you see the mask I pretend to be, I hide my hurt and sorrow inside, I dont want people to see that I cry, I was hurt very young, I refuse to go through it again, I will cry before I die, and then Ill rise again, hiding my heart from the world, on the outside looking in, I dont show emotion, I merely stand a stone, sometimes I find it easier, if I just stand alone...!!!...

Comments

[Purple Nstar3]

if you dont like what i write then dont comment i write for me and not anyone else...!!!...

[Lorem Corpus]

I have many problems with this, but I'll tell you only the ones I think you might listen to. First, the theme is overused. Second, it's not just the theme that's overused in this, but the phrases have been used a million times over. There's no emotion/originality in it. Thirdly, the rhymes are predictable, but your rhyme scheme isn't, since you switch from one pattern to another. And fourth, what's with the ending? "..!!!.." That doesn't make it more dramatic, just kind of...stupid. 0/5