Fall

• Artist: magiczane
• Description: a song i wrote about a break up. Fictional not real its just about how the betrayed party feels about the two who betrayed him. i got the line "fall like you mean it" stuck in my head for about a week and this is the result but by far my favorite line is "my heart is gone with no replacement, leave my feelings in the basement"
  
  P.S. if anyone can come up with a better line for the orange line it will be much appreciated!
• Date: 07/31/2012
• Tags: fall song

Fall like you mean it.
Scream when you see it.
My face lights up…
I hate it.

You were my potion.
I lost you in the motion.
Felt you break and go with them.
Tried to lock me in a pen.

Bleed like you mean it.
Cry when you see it.
My soul burns like fire…
I hate it, and you.

You were my salve.
Stolen by a slave.
Crumbled beneath me, and then you built for them.
Tried to seal me in my den.

I burn like you want it.
I curse you as you need it.
My heart is gone with no replacement.
Leave my feelings in the basement.

Comments

[Playing Favorites]

"Felt you break and go with them.
Tried to lock me in a pen."
Didn't like that much, just because it rhymes doesn't mean it's right.

"My soul burns like fire…
I hate it, and you."
No correction for this one, but if you take off "and you" you could pass this as repetitive which is a nice form from the first line.

"You were my salve.
Stolen by a slave."
Remember, you're rhyming on the other ones and the one after this, this doesn't rhyme and needs to be replaced with a whole different thing.