I've been thinking a lot lately.
Am I allowed to be angry or sad?
People always see me as that girl who never gets sad, or that girl who will listen to you and try to make things better all the time. I feel like I can't disappoint people, or make them feel down, so I just try to pretend like everything is okay. When you try to express your emotions, people say you're an attention whore, or that you're PMSing. It's like there's always an excuse for it. You can never be REALLY mad, you can be PMSy.
God, the downsides to having a uterus. -_-
I give up a lot of things for my friends. Just today, when I had a skype convo with my friends, I actually called my RL friends to tell them that I couldn't go to the mall with them.
I chose the internet over them, because you guys are more of a family than my real family.
I wish I could see you all, and hug you, and tell you guys how much I care, but I can't. I have to settle for talking to a pixelated you, I have to settle for hearing your voice but not seeing you. It hurts a lot, when you care that much and can't do anything about it.
When I see any of my friends sad, I feel sad too because I can't do anything. I can only stand by on the sidelines and feel helpless, because I don't have the power to make you feel better. God, I wish I did, but I don't. I have to watch you all go through so much pain, and not even be able to help.
I really care about you guys, but sometimes I wonder if you care about me. If you guys would go through so much trouble just to hear me talk, or just to go to a amusement park with me for one day.
Probably not, though. I'm the only person I know who's so weird, she treats people she's never seen better than the people she ALWAYS sees.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's like I'm just stuck in a rut, thinking of the same things over and over again. I try my best to get over it, but it doesn't work that well. I barely sleep these days because I have so much to worry about.
I just hope that everything is gonna be okay, both in real life and on Gaia.
Am I allowed to be angry or sad?
People always see me as that girl who never gets sad, or that girl who will listen to you and try to make things better all the time. I feel like I can't disappoint people, or make them feel down, so I just try to pretend like everything is okay. When you try to express your emotions, people say you're an attention whore, or that you're PMSing. It's like there's always an excuse for it. You can never be REALLY mad, you can be PMSy.
God, the downsides to having a uterus. -_-
I give up a lot of things for my friends. Just today, when I had a skype convo with my friends, I actually called my RL friends to tell them that I couldn't go to the mall with them.
I chose the internet over them, because you guys are more of a family than my real family.
I wish I could see you all, and hug you, and tell you guys how much I care, but I can't. I have to settle for talking to a pixelated you, I have to settle for hearing your voice but not seeing you. It hurts a lot, when you care that much and can't do anything about it.
When I see any of my friends sad, I feel sad too because I can't do anything. I can only stand by on the sidelines and feel helpless, because I don't have the power to make you feel better. God, I wish I did, but I don't. I have to watch you all go through so much pain, and not even be able to help.
I really care about you guys, but sometimes I wonder if you care about me. If you guys would go through so much trouble just to hear me talk, or just to go to a amusement park with me for one day.
Probably not, though. I'm the only person I know who's so weird, she treats people she's never seen better than the people she ALWAYS sees.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's like I'm just stuck in a rut, thinking of the same things over and over again. I try my best to get over it, but it doesn't work that well. I barely sleep these days because I have so much to worry about.
I just hope that everything is gonna be okay, both in real life and on Gaia.
Community Member
Heh, I think we sort of feel the same way. Like in a way, we want to
live our youth out having fun with our real life friends, yet we feel like
we're chained to 1919. Not because we want to be.. More of an emotional
chain. One that makes you feel like you have to go there or else your day
will be incomplete. Or if you're not there, you feel a need to go there even
if real life may be more interesting then the internets.
Well, I think that's how we both feel.
Then again, I'm not you.
But I'm sure we can relate.