Meef. I make noises alot. I wonder why. Everytime before I post an OOC moment I say pweet or bwee or mwee. They mean things, just not specific things. Ron figured a few of them out. We'll just not talk about HIM though. Mwee is like a giant '?' like you see above manga characters heads when something confusing happens. Pwee tends to be an expression of timidness or that Im feeling cute. Bwee is my playful noise. Sometimes it can be an annoyed noise too. I say pwa sometimes. That seems to be a question too. Some of them are just noises to make sure my presence is known. Ive even started saying meow. Its odd. I made my nice guy friend person laugh because of that today.
Why am I so kind to people? It seems that every person I let close to me always ends up trying to hurt me somehow, or they don't return the favor. Even though I know this I can't stand the thought of being like...like...HIM. Of thinking only of myself, chasing away anyone just to protect myself. If one of my friends is in trouble ( or even someone I don't know that well, but hasn't done anything wrong to bother me) I'm going to be there no matter what to try to help. Like when I tried to protect Ron. I knew I was going against my own mother and that I would get hell for it afterwords, but at the time I didn't care. He returned the favor by threatening to get my family and I put out on the street. Actually, it was more his mother that did that. He doesn't deal with his problems. He hides behind mommy. But enough about him. From now on he is dead to me. Rather, he is non existant to me. A figment of my imagination, a bad dream, my boogie man, whatever.
Do I really let people walk on me like they said I do? I say no. Mom says no. Mom's boyfriend says no. But those two...mainly that one, say yes. I say I just have a slightly manipulative side. I know how to get people to like me. Sometimes it means I have to be a bit submissive, yes, but in the long run I benefit. Also, I live by the phrase "don't burn you bridges". Sometimes bridges can rot or fall apart, but while they are still new and useful, whether for friendship or otherwise, it is best to try to keep them in good condition. Sometimes I do get alittle too trusting, but by no means do I let people walk on me. So sit on that and rotate you two (not that you'll ever read this).
Am I pretty? I don't know. I guess it depends on who you are talking to. If they don't like me, they'll obviously say no simplyout of spite. If they are a friend, they might just say yes because they don't want to say what they think. Sometimes I think I'm pretty, sometimes I don't. It's kind of sad that I need outside reassurance. I guess what I want know is how pretty I am on the inside. What kind of person am I to others? If any body reads this that knows me or has an opinion, please respond.
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My brain makes words.
If I need to talk but have no one to talk to or I feel I need to write through my problems, it goes here. I do not use names. If I do, it's because I either have no respect for the person, or I accidentally slipped.
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