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Don't Know Why I Didn't Come
Ever pray?
Ever pray for a friend?
I finally broke down last night.
My roomate went home for the
weekend, and no one esle was
in the suite. So, I got to spend
some time by myself. I
...
I'm having a hard time writing this.
I'm just so damn lonely. I didn't
want to admit it, but I am. I NEVER
thought I would miss high school.
I don't miss it really, I just miss the
friends. I miss the guy who always
made me smile when we passed, I
miss eating lunch with people and
with people I know and enjoy being
with. I miss having people who know
me, who know that I just argue for
the hell of arguing, people who can
argue back intelligently,
I miss my friends.
Of course, I think I'm glorifying them.
I was never really that close to any
of them, just buddies. Even the one
I had known since first grade, the first
friend I ever made, we just became so
different over time. The guy that always
made me smile, God bless him, he had
a lot of problems of his own to deal with,
he didn't really have any smiles left for me.
I don't think I've ever really been too close
to anyone. I'm just so damn tired of being
alone. I'm so damn tired of not having
someone who can enjoy me as I am, who
can love me as I am. No, I'm not looking
for a hawt boyfwiand and not gay, I'm looking,
I'm praying, for a real friend who can love me,
appreciate me, hell, maybe even like me.
I thought that going to the college I'm at,
I'd find someone more like myself. I thought
spooky kids were everywhere! Not all these
homophobic dumbass abercrombie hollister
von dutch wannabe surfers. It's f*cking
Georgia, you a**, you don't surf in Georgia.
Get the hell over it or MOVE.
Oi, I'm not surprised that I don't really have
many friends here. But this is who I am, I
point out the stupidities of life, laugh at them,
and then move on. These girls don't seem to
get that. And I am NOT going to change myself
or the way I act for anybody ever again. It
took me a long f*cking time to get where I can
look in the mirror and like who I see, and I am
never going back, I can't do that again.
It hurts too much.
So I'm praying. I'm praying that God will help
me find a real, true, honest friend. I need this.
I need someone to talk to. Someone who isn't
pixels on a computer screen. I need a friend.
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