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This is a response to the last entry and comments. I didn't know how much people cared. But some things turn out wrong so many times.

I can't remember if I said this in the last entry, but when I cut my hand, hardly anyone noticed. The few people that did notice asked about it. My mom was one. I simply told her the cat did it. She didn't stop to think that Lily was declawed. I told that to my best friend, she knew my cat was declawed. She pressed it further but in a teasing manner. There were two people who noticed and made me promise not to do it again. But it just seems like I'm not wanted.

My friends are embarassed by the way I act, but it's not my fault. But when I ask why they still hang out with me they don't answer. Yet, the people I meet on the internet respect me. My group also wants me to change the way I dress, but the way I dress is me.

There's a song called "Welcome to my life" It basically describes me. Where did that wonderful cheerful girl go that was always happy? Or was I always like this and didn't know it. Is the cheerful outside a mask? It hurts me.

Thanks for all your support, but I feel horrible. No matter what, I always feel so different when I'm alone. The fact that I'm thinking about suicide scares me. I'm afraid of death! The fact I can't deny, the scars on my hand are proof that i did something I never would have done before. It hurts, and I cant do any thing about it. My life is falling apart.