Have you ever had one of those moments were you feel as though your stomach is going to come out your throat? When those damn butterflies start to move and create a problem for you in your heart. When your eyes flicker from one thing to another. But what is this cause for these motions?
I kill my butterflies. I take out that white stick. I flick my zippo and watch the end burn. I inhale and feel those butterflies slowly die. I sit back. And I feel my stomach start to set like a rock. The pack is in my hand. I stare at it wondering if I should really be doing this. Slowly dieing. I keep telling myself I'll stop soon. Once things get a little better I'll stop.
We both know that I wont. Not until I chuck that pack out my window and crush that lighter under my foot. But inside I don't want to. I scream at myself saying I need them I need them. If I throw them. How will I survive?
But the pack leaves my hand. The last puff is exhaled. And those damn butterflies start coming back.
I feel like I'm going to hurl again...
 RadicalRosebud · Mon Sep 06, 2010 @ 08:08am · 0 Comments |
