The invisible man
He is someone that I must have created in my head under the stress I've been going through lately. I've been terrified of him since I started to feel like someone was following me around the beginning of June. He's mostly in my house or outside my windows looking in. I can't see him or anything (thank god...), but when I imagine what he looks like, I think of a tall, skinny man that looks like he's in his 60s wearing a grey suit with a white shirt and a dark blue tie along with a sad look on his face. A very sad look.... :[
For the past couple of weeks, he's been watching me closer than usual. I kept feeling that there was always something waiting for me around every corner, and it scared me a lot. I was afraid to go straight into the room if the lights were off. For some reason, I only felt safe with the lights on. In the dark, he'd be standing a couple yards infront of me. Soon, I was so paronoid that I started to occationally hear things, like someone exhaling or a footstep when no one but me was home. I began to link the coincidental things with the feeling I've had. I actually thought he was THERE!
But as of yesterday, the feeling of him actualling being there was gone. I just feel sad. So sad that it makes me feel pathetic. But he's there. I know he is. I'd be calm if he wasn't. I'd feel safe. That feeling just isn't with me these days. I don't even feel safe in my own room now. It's not healthy, I know that. I'm afraid to tell the doctors or they'll do something drastic like put me on more meds or put me in another program and I really don't need that with the school year starting soon.
My parents know about it, but they think it's me worrying over a petty little thing. Silly, aren't I? The more I think about it, the worse it gets. Suddenly, the doors are never locked and there seems to be a mojor increase in spiders. This anxioty is going to kill me before life does itself.
:/ Life just isn't on my side.
With Love, Heather
Sunshine Heather · Sun Aug 06, 2006 @ 10:01am · 1 Comments |